The View From The Ocean's Edge

I admit, I've been bad about posting regularly this last year. It's been busy and hectic and whole months slip by unnoticed.

I took on a second part time job, because finances. The less said about that the better. The good part is they pay mileage, and it's on my own time and it makes things a little less stressful. But lately it also means been working 7 days a week.

And the diabetes diagnosis, I haven't said much about that lately. Except that my numbers are very nicely under control - shocked my doctor with my improvement at the 3 month mark, cut my meds back to a half dosage and things seem to be remaining stable. Even through the holidays and my returning to less strict eating patterns my BGL have stayed pretty reasonable. Even the occasional pastry is back in; although I'm still very cautious about potatoes and rice, and pretty much avoiding pasta all together. So really not cut anything out completely anymore, just LESS of. Still keeping all my 3 month check ups and minding how I go, although I've also kinda gotten lax on my spread sheet trackers as well - I need to be more diligent about that, but getting back into the habit when everything is so ... pressing, is difficult.

This brings us to the events of the past few days.... I'll give you the Coles Notes Facebook version:

"So.
I kinda pushed James a little into buying the Durango. He hadn't been really interested in the ad.... but I made him look at the ad a 2nd time. And go out and see it. He has really enjoyed owning it, and I was so pleased that finally after almost 8 yrs in Canada he finally had a decent vehicle he liked, and was comfortable in and.........

I wrote it off today.
A stupid error in a moment of panic.
Hit the gas instead of the brakes.
Took out a phone pole.

I got lucky and only side swiped the pole. Otherwise the truck wouldn't be the only thing that's gone. I banged my hand up and I've got a good rope burn from the seatbelt. Otherwise I'm just devastated, embarrassed and broken hearted that once again I've made a stupid mistake that's going to cost us a pretty penny, and thrown our lives into logistical hoop jumping and ... spoiled something nice for him."
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Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I got this plan.... to toss my hat in the ring for the Great Canadian Baking Show - a new entry into the reality TV series game from the CBC ... based loosely on The Great British Bake Off - I'm working on my application. I've mostly put it together well I think..... still trying to get a photo of me I don't hate.... the problem is that they all look like I'm 52 LOL! The other problem is that a 'application video' is recommended (but not required) "for a good video, see out Video Tips" - I can't find their video tips - not on their website, not on the cbc's not via google - I got nothin'.

So plan is a 5 min video - no action sequences baking - that just ends up with camera shake - no script, just a few notes on key points I want to touch on.

I don't know if I'm reality tv material - lord knows I can talk a blue streak. And I can bake, and I am competitive - I just have trouble seeing cooking as a competitive sport ...... still if it gives me a shot and maybe seeing some of our life ambitions to fruition. My cafe outside the park, our Arthcwtch Creative Space and Workshops, then I'll go to just about any lengths to make that happen.
I think I'll have to try again on the photos....the whole squinting wrinkly forehead thing doesn't work well.
"

I've also been working on the tax returns, because there is money coming back to us there. However it's been a bit of a pita - despite the simple calculations of mine and the Feychild's.

"Frustrating day.... still can't find the 'video tips', trying to figure out the difference between the accountant's tax return last year (which shows a $2300 deduction from total income) and this year's tax return where I see no category or box check where I would qualify for that kind of deduction..... this may well explain the difference in outcomes for this tax year, BUT I don't have his working copy - just the final summary page of the assessment - so I figure I'll try logging into My Account at CRA for the past filing.... except it won't accept the username and password I have .... or the "security question" answers (must get all 4 right - I'm sure it's the Make of Your first car - that's screwing me up), too many attempts - locked out, so reregister - but to have them email me the security code to activate the account (rather than wait for Canada Post) I have to physically speak to someone - but because it's tax season, the lines are too busy and I can't get through.

The good news is that the brake lines on Ziggy2 look pristine and should be able to fix the brakes on Ziggy the First ... but these things don't happen instantly and it's cold out and ... the poor man :( but we need a working vehicle... now. Insurance inspection should have happened today or tomorrow - but so far no actual call from the guy actually coming out to look.... just calls from people confirming that he will call *head*desk*. Pretty sure it's gonna be a write off and the buy back will probably make it not worthwhile.... but we'll see. We can replace it with an identical yr/model for probably $5000-$6000 - we were into Chuck for $5K so that's not unreasonable, but unless I win the Bake Off it might as well be a $1 million.

The work I was out to do yesterday is supposed to be completed by Friday, when the new tasks come down for next week. Staying in touch with my supervisor, but honestly wondering if there's a point in doing a scan on Thursday and then going out and doing another one on Saturday?

Holding tight and trying to get through everything one step at a time. And taking tonight with Him as "Date Night" .... because that's the thing that helps keep us sane."

So hopefully we'll get you back to one of our regularly scheduled Market Day, or now the new Prep for The Great Canadian Bake Off posts very shortly.

Originally posted to: The Plan® comment there or here

Doing the job hunt thing this morning via various online job boards... a weekly/twice weekly thing

Every so often I do a troll through my old aviation job haunts - thing is, after 18 months of serious job searching, a goodly number of very promising interviews and nadda.... well I wonder sometimes if it isn't time to go and rewrite my dispatch exams, and start applying for dispatch jobs again. It was after all - the one thing I was truly outstandingly good at.

Writing the exams again, applying again, not such a big deal, but there are ... issues. It's a little tough explaining the 4.5 yr gap in my resume, it's a bit tough starting all over again at the bottom, it's a bit tough selling that I'm willing to start all over again at the bottom after having been Chief Dispatcher.

Then the internal thought processes - am I willing to leave my husband and family and commute (probably only sporadically) across the country for .. aviation industry wages? There was a time 15 yrs ago I was excited and enthused about the airline industry I loved the work, I loved the idea of moving 5000 miles to start out on this grand and glorious and exciting path. I'm more tired and jaded than I was in 1999. A spark of that old enthusiasm still burns somewhere in me, but the industry beat enough of that fire out of me... I do wonder if there is any place for me in the airline world anymore. That fire also earned me a reputation (at least at the last position, and on some aviation forums) of being 'difficult', because I believed in doing things right, because I believed in standards; not just regulatory ones, but personal ones as well. And apparently pilots thought I was damned uppity because I believed that co-authority actually meant something.

The ember still burns, but I'm not sure I have it in me to try and rebuild that old flame into a new fire.

Sometimes, something is just past, and done, and it didn't work out the way you expected, and there is no going back and 'fixing' it.

OTOH - I really need a job. But is that reason enough to try and revive a dead career and up end my family and stir up all that old 'stuff'?

Originally posted to: The Plan® comment there or here

It's been a crazy couple months here at Arthcwtch ... money is tight, looking for jobs, trying jobs, new toys. I have been remiss in updating, and I know you're all anxious to hear how things went out on the ocean.

But so, here's the tale of the trip ... as much as I can say. It was great, it was a very nice crew, the weather and the seas were relatively calm, despite the fears of the impending tropical storm (and possible hurricane) Gabrielle from Tuesday onward. I learned a LOT, I saw a LOT, it was amazing as in UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL with a SHARK! Yeah. Blue. Shark. 10 ft. 400 lbs. O.M.G. Amazing. I was surprised that a) I did get seasick the first 24 hrs, but one dosage of meds and I was fine the rest of the trip, I was surprised that getting up to my elbows in live slimey fish, and fish poo, and fish guts really didn't bother me, I mean as in bothered me even less than picking up a live lobster for my Christmas dinner did. It was hard work, not unexpected, it was tight living quarters, but less tight than expected, it was physically tough - 24 hr shifts, and hard work, but I really didn't mind it much.

But. I won't be going back. I did enjoy the work, it was interesting - I mean really fascinating, challeneging, physically and mentally, but it was very clear, very quickly that emotionally I'm just not cut out for this work. This came as a HUGE surprise.

You see as much as I liked it, by early Tuesday morning I was fighting back a panic attack, that I had a job to do and NO alternatives made it that I HAD to cope, but it was the NO alternative that started the panic. Very early I felt trapped. I was in a tin can, with NO way out, relying on the expertise and skill of 3 men I didn't know 5 minutes before. I *am* really not good with that. ( Sandy?) You see, yes, they tell you when you go out that you are your own boss - and you are - you don't work FOR the boat, you are working independently, your bosses are back on shore. BUT, the Captain is the boss of his ship, his crew, and he work together - and as lovely and as nice as they are, you're not a part of that crew - you are extraneous to their jobs, and in fact your job can - and does - get in their way. They're used to it and nice about it, but I'm always aware of it. And while they gave me full credit for staying out of their way, that need of mine not to interfere in their work made it harder for me to do my work. I don't like being in the way, that I am less physically graceful than most people and that made my getting about slow and deliberate and lurching pillar to post. The crew being very nice, complimented me on a job well done, but also worried about me, and felt the need to look out for me - and I really am very much one who NEEDS to pull my own weight, that they felt the need to watch out for me only made me feel MORE in the way. Add all that to the fact I am *used* to in aviation, being the boss, the one with the data and the weather tracking and the expertise saying 'we're going here when and how and what we're doing and this is the situation and this is how we'll do it" and here ... all I had was vague rumours of a storm and a job that doesn't really run on a schedule or a system or a routine... some tows are 2 hours, some are 6, some are 10 mins ... you don't know how long you have to eat or sleep or do paperwork. I don't mentally hold up well in situations where I have no control over everything. Honestly, flying, even commercially doesn't bother me because I am the expert, even for other airlines, I know the game the routine, the training, the safety protocols, ....

I don't know how much sense I'm making. I really don't know how to explain it better than that. I really loved it, but from day one all I wanted was to GET the heck out of here! Then about 15 mins from home all of the list of paragraph 1 hit me ... and I wanted to run away again. chagrinned. I still have to debrief on Monday but I really don't think I want to go back again. I'm sorry, I really wanted, heck we NEEDED this to work out, but I really don't feel like I can do it again, still I wouldn't have missed TRYING it for the world.

So back to the job hunt, my resume is still out there (Tourism Job - Project Coordinator/Dockside Observer) and there are other - if not less interesting jobs. And the rest of my life awaits.

It took almost 4 days to get my land legs back.

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The Yarmouth Air Show for Pilots N Paws Canada was amazing. We had a blast, met and talked with some really great people and enjoyed a fabulous display. Can't say enough nice things about the good folks of the Yarmouth Airport for inviting us.

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Monday night we attended a performance of John Cleese's "Last Chance to See Me Before I Die" tour of Canada at the Rebecca Cohn Auditorium in the Dalhousie Arts Centre in Halifax.

This was the final of 5 shows in Halifax. It wasn't stand up comedy, just a rather wistful John Cleese with a video projection screen and a laser pointer, reminiscing about his life and friends.

In the relatively small 1000 seat auditorium in the Dalhousie University complex, it felt like a lecture on British comedy of the 60s and 70s, with particular emphasis on the teams behind "The Frost Report" and "Monty Python", delivered by a very talented presenter and expert on the subject. It was a wonderful show.

The show was 100% scripted, with 2 large flat panel TVs at the back of the auditorium used as autocues.

I will add, it was a wonderful evening, it was warm and cozy and gently wistful and lovely and hilarious and not a dry seat in the house ... and we came away from it feeling a wee bit wistful and nostalgic and reminiscing ourselves... the 3 hour drive home was almost as lovely as the almost 2 hour performance.

Cleese did seem a tad tired, but then that's hardly surprising considering he'll be 74 next month, but that fit with the theme of the show, as did the cool dreary early fall rain that was pretty constant last night, and the nice red wine from the theatre bar before the show and during intermission. Unfortunately he didn't do the question and answer afterwards.

Looking at the line up for the Dalhousie Art Centre for the coming months we've concluded it's a very good thing we don't live in Halifax, or our annual entertainment budget ..... well we'd have to HAVE an annual entertainment budget.

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James's 3D Printer from Form Labs finally arrived - he's been anxiously awaiting this for MONTHS! It's pretty, it's cute, it's technical, it's geeky, and it prints in 3D .... how amazing is that? He's just starting to run some tests with it, but so far he's really really excited and pleased with it's performance and detail.

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So now what? Well boring stuff like cleaning up the gardens and getting a few fall plantings in. My Ruby Slippers Hydrangeas have arrived. The fireplace still needs to be installed before the cold weather comes. Much cleaning and sorting and creating of work spaces. We still need to find jobs. James has got a line on an interesting gig teaching / demonstrating astronomy at a local Eco-Resort, and I've got my resume floating out there for a number of jobs. One a project planning position with the local tourism board sounds right up my alley, but that closed on Monday and I've not heard anything... so we'll see what happens. We have tickets to see Roger Hodgson in Moncton in October - we bought those back in January.... all we need is gas money.

I'll get one cheque from the boat people, and that's not gonna be shabby (they already sent the pay stub), but its not going to go far, and things are really tight - especially with still having to pay for the fireplace install (we've paid for the stove already thankfully). I hate to say it, I hate to even think it, but we're not that far away from having to apply for income assistance. Still one way or another even if it dings the dignity a little - we'll get by.

Originally posted to: The Plan® comment there or here

The past six+ months since James and I moved here have been kind of .. well a bit of limbo. For two years we'd been so focused on getting the house ready to sell and then getting it sold and where were we going to move to..... and then *poof* all that was done.

So been quietly looking for new foci - where am I going from here? And yes there's the baking and the dogs and getting the gardens established, would like to be working on the house, and lots of plans for the future but there's no cash for that. But really, I need a job, the rest of it feels like a hobby and it might one day become a job - but not till there's some investment capital.

So, I've been looking at my skills. We're pretty blessed rural so outside work is a bit scarce. What I really need is internet based work. As it turned out the perfect job kinda fell into my lap - utilizing my aviation industry experience and my past involvement with animal rescue and my general organizational prowess. Then this morning a Facebook page offered me an admin position to contribute and update on their page. Again - it was stuff right up my alley.

Both are intensely satisfying, present their own challenges, are interesting and I get a lot of support and kindness from the people I'm working with. Neither is all that terribly time consuming right now, and it fits into my life.

In other words - the perfect jobs - for me - at this stage of my life. Only problem is:

They don't pay.

I keep thinking there's got to be a way to parlay this into a little income. Not from the folks above - those are volunteer positions and I'm HAPPY to volunteer. But surely there are gigs out there like them I run my own lifestyle blog - but that doesn't pay either. I've admined forums before. I know there are folks out there doing freelance internet 'stuff' and making a wee bit of money at it (no I don't expect to be pulling in 6 bills). Thing is I don't do ghost writing well, I can't 'sound' like anyone but myself, but I can write like myself very well. My google-fu is second only to Him's. I'm redesigning and maintaining my daughter's professional art website. I'm not a bad photographer, and getting better, and I'm fairly adept with making photo-essay books. I have this rather cool grab bag of skills (and a few of James's I can lean on when needs be) - I'm just not sure how, or where to start to turn them into making some kind of an income.

So mad mad mad mad followers .... give me some mad mad mad mad idea ......

Originally posted to: The Plan® comment there or here

There's a few posts .... mostly cooking and menus and baking successes of the holidays I really must post.

One thing about Yuletide and New Years, I tend to be so caught up in the kitchen - that I don't get around to talking about it until later. But there will be posts of puff pastry and pie, roast meat, and sweets. I also still need to go back and fill in some of the missing gaps in the chronicling of 2011.

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One theme seems to have taken shape as I wander around the web this morning - people in general weren't terribly impressed with 2011. Most considered it a hard year, a difficult year, many seem quite pleased to see the back side of it. Me? We? Can't really say I feel that way about it.

2011 wasn't exactly a water shed year, any more than 2010 was. Mostly it kinda skipped by under my radar. I do hate when that happens - and it's happened before that I find myself in the same place a year later, like I haven't made any ground and on the surface it really does look like that. We ended 2010 with plans to sell the house in the spring, move back to the mainland and start a new phase of our lives - sooner than we'd originally hoped, but still the same direction we were always moving in. And in some ways we do look like we're in the same boat now. Plans to sell the house in the spring, move back to the mainland and start a new phase of our lives. However, it's not quite that simple. Money is much tighter than it was this time last year - kinda scary so actually - and 'The Plan®' has hit one of those critical flux points. We start 2012 not really knowing WHAT'S going to happen. The boy's college career must come first for us, so until he's working and living on his own with a car and a driver's license - he's still dependent on us, and with how marvelously well he's succeeding right now, I wouldn't even consider uprooting him from his programme. The girl - she'll be finished her college this spring as well, but as she's living in residence it was less of an issue. So I think we're staying - for a little while at least. Not sure yet how we're gonna pay for it beyond the short term, but a little bit here and a little bit there, we'll get by. We're all hoping that job applications put in with the local big box store opening this spring around the corner will come to fruition. 3 x minimum wage still isn't a lot of money, but it'd be enough. And ya know sometimes enough is ... good. There's also a chance I may yet resurrect the career I crashed and burned in 2010. It's a long slow process and still a long shot, and if it happens - I don't know if it'll end up staying in Newfoundland or if it'll send me to Nova Scotia or New Brunswick or PEI or Ottawa! I remain ever hopeful, it would be a really GOOD thing for all of us, a new and positive direction career wise for me, a substantial pay rise over what I was making, a good bit of stability, and a chance to build 'The Plan®' a bit less ... hectically. We're keeping our fingers crossed. Keeping good thoughts for us on that score would be deeply appreciated. So I smell change in the wind, but how it'll all come out in the wash, I do not know.

You'd think with all this money being tight, and uncertainty in the wind we too would be glad to see the end of 2011. But ya know - it's been a good year. Despite the little stresses - James and I are happy. Sickeningly happy in many many ways. Oh sure we have our days of worry and fear, but this year has been our extended honeymoon. We dated long distance - with limited time together but what time there was was holidays and 24/7 - we never actually had to learn to live together. When James made it to Canada in 2008, I was promoted shortly there after - and the job took over my life. He loved me, and he respected my love for what I did and I couldn't have asked for better support, but it really did kinda dump him into trying to manage a home and a family and stuff he'd never really had to think about before. And we never did really get a good chance to learn how to live together. 2010 I spent trying to recover my equilibrium, and still convinced that somehow I was gonna save my career and working on the house 'until then'. 2011 was the year of my retirement, of learning new skills, and choosing to work on the house and building the kind of life we want - together.

So as tough as it's been, I don't really think we're 'being brave in the face of adversity' as one friend put it, but rather ... the adversity is just something we deal with, the real stuff - is him and me, and the kids, and the dogs, and the cats and our friends, and ... THAT stuff, the important stuff.... that's all GOOD. So perhaps the thought is we should be miserable.... but we're not. Strange as it might sound. I've never been happier in my life.

Originally posted to: The Plan® comment there or here

I keep meaning to set some time to catch up with you all, and catch you up with us.

I keep composing posts in my head and running out of time to post em.

So here's where were at:

Home Renos:
With the countertops finally installed the kitchen is mostly done. We do still need to do some paint touch ups, install the trim work which is 75% painted, and a bunch of fiddly electrical bits. The kitchen is lovely, but until it's finished, it's still 'under construction'

Some of the kitchen work got set aside to be working on the landscaping. The landscaping has been emotionally hard on me. Ever try to bail out the ocean with a tin cup? It seems to represent all of my failures of the last year. I tried hiring 2 guys to help out with it last year at this time - one guy showed up for one day. This year I couldn't justify the expense. We were late getting started - it always seems like I am, but money and the Feychild's schooling, and then the kitchen - all had something to do with that. And then there's the whole thing that a couple friends over for a day of shared work would go a long way to making this entirely overwhelming job less depressing. Problem is - we have no friends - a few acquaintances - but for both James and I our friends are online. James has without an outside job meets less people. Me? People in general like me, but aren't really sociable with me. I've never really understood why, but it simply is. Yes it hurts as much when only one person comes to a party you invited 40+ to when you're 45 as when you're 5 - you just manage it better. I've made efforts, social groups, organizations, trying to stay in touch with folks I used to get on well with at work. All for naught. Anyway, I need a minimum of at least a week of decent weather to get anywhere close to finished with the outside work and I don't think I'm going to get it. The weather will probably NOT be improved to a sufficient amount to finish redoing the steps, or planting, or even leveling out where we pulled out the trees by the time we need to have the house on the market in March. So all in all it feels like a big FAIL.

We've pretty much finished spending money on the reno (and not a moment too soon!). We have most of the necessary supplies in. New flooring (2400 sq ft of bamboo hardwood), new doors (30 of those), bathroom shower tile, shower doors and cabinetry. I haven't found a used exterior door (with sidelights) that suits on the classifieds yet; all I can do is keep watching. There's still a pretty good list of little bits to buy - but we should be finished with the big cash outlays - although the electrical could cost us a bit.

I still want to get a Reno blog running, but there's some serious server tweaking stuff has to happen and it's just not that high on the priority list right now. We're both a bit stressed out by the pressure. We're not broke, but there is a limit to how much money we do have, we have to sell in the spring - we might be able to put off listing until May but definitely no longer than that. It's really a big time crunch for the amount of work we need to do especially when I've already missed the landscape deadlines and Christmas is coming.

Work:
I've been sending out resumes, been willing to consider options that haven't really been on the table before. Options like commuting. I did get an offer, James and I sat and talked it out - at what they were offering and what it would cost for me to maintain an apartment there and commute back here - we'd be losing money. It just wasn't worth the changes we'd have to make - commuting for 6-10 months and then selling up here to move there I couldn't justify that.

I've got 2 applications in with Transport - those are good money, but they're a long shot and the hiring process can take 6 months or more. Better possibility is Air Canada but I haven't heard anything back yet... fingers crossed for some news soon. Thinking groundschool is probably scheduled for the New Year - February would be about right. I'd have to find an apartment in Ontario, and commute till we're ready to sell - that'd leave everything on James's shoulders. More panic.

La Familia:
Aside from the stress James and I are pretty OK. We've both been avoiding colds and sick pretty well. However, my arthritis has been bad though - that isn't helping with the yard work or any of the work. Both my hands and feet have been steadily getting worse this year. The worse that gets the less exercise I get, the worse my fitness gets, the worse the arthritis, the less exercise I get. I'm trying but it feels a little like I'm fighting a slow losing battle.

The Feychild and Frosty are both doing well at school. The Feychild's visit home was lovely! She's doing so well at college and we're so proud of how she's managed this transition. We got her Christmas card artwork last night. I've got a week before Christmas planned in Ontario to see David, but the only airmiles ticket I could get has me overnighting in Pearson airport on Christmas eve and not getting home till noon on Christmas day. Still it'll be good to spend some time with David and Mom.

The dogs are all managing, but all this upheaval hasn't been easy on them either. Pippin has been a bit put out with the Feychild being away, but he loved having her home for 4 days, and he doesn't mind hanging out with Frosty. Kilo is Kilo - braindead as always. Buddy's doing OK, but I'm not getting out walking with him enough and he needs that - when we're out on the weekend walks he's getting headstrong again. I've got to try and do what I can with getting him out during the week, but between the work on the house, and my health - it's been tougher than I'd like. Still get out for game time everyday - which helps him be a little less mischievous.

So, really lots more of same old same old. Worry, stress, panic, long days, cold nights, but we're together, we're holding fast, and working towards a much brighter tomorrow.

Safe and sound at the Sheraton Crystal City - Washington weather is lovely, fast food and airline travel don't mix, think I'll have a couple of bottles of water and a short nap before I go out hunting the local food scene.

Looking forward to an interesting couple of days

Ok...
so I did throw my hat in the ring for this one.

Won't say too much just at the moment - don't wanna jinx it...

But James and I have this week been working towards creative solutions to our current difficulties. Hold your breath and cross your fingers .... we should know more by Friday afternoon.

Here's hoping!

"Good afternoon OE. This email is to follow-up on our conversation this past Monday regarding the XXX Specialist (contract) position available at Air Contract Company Inc. It is evident from your resume that you have great experience that we would be fortunate to have. However, we are not in a position to be able to compensation your minimum requirement of $55k.

Please let me know if you have any further questions. And, thank you for your interest in Air Contract Company Inc

Cheers,
Pleasant HR Professional"

"Hello Pleasant HR Professional,
Thank you for your response.

If it’s not out of place asking what would you consider offering for this position?

Thank you for your time and consideration

OE"

"Hi OE. To be honest, the compensation range isn’t even close enough to your minimum expectation for you to consider.
Cheers….Pleasant HR Professional"

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Just how bad do you hate being told you're overqualified??

I should have word back on whether or not there's a new job for me by the end of the week.

/note to self add CDO reference to resume....

My beloved hubby is a genius...

And he puts up with me.

Well... things continue...

Honestly, I've been waiting on hearing back on a couple of feelers I had out there.... one local, one not, but with the lack of response from them I need to start looking further a field.

Problem is in a specialized niche job as mine was - I can: a) hope the one other local employer comes up with something (that hasn't worked), b) move my whole family again for a 'less than stellar job' (not interested), c) hope that the one agency outside has something for me that's worth commuting for, d) take a job that isn't worth commuting for but will pay the bills (not a thrilling prospect), e) beg for my old job back (not going to happen), f) switch careers (problem is this is really the only thing I'm qualified to do)

a, c and d are the best - and only real options. I haven't heard anything back on a) and d) should have gotten back to me, I should hear something from him next week, but getting a job out of it is a long shot at best.

So I started farming out my resume to other jobs, Toronto and Ottawa, and well - I could commute from there - I don't like that much - but the cash is getting tight, and unless the property in Western Bay suddenly sells, we're not in a position to have me out of work until we get the business off the ground - hell we're no where close to even knowing HOW we want to get the business going.

I'm starting to seriously worry, and it's taking its toll on me

I'm not getting much done during the days, I'm feeling useless and in the way, and frankly a failure. Yesterday I spent the whole day in bed working on a jigsaw puzzle and today has been spent at the computer - 12 hrs - and I haven't even gotten caught up on today's friends list.

I'd love to be working on household projects, but right now we don't have any cash for household or business related projects. And housecleaning is just depressing me - I need storage solutions - and I have plans for storage solutions, and no money to spend on materials.

I need to get off my butt and get a crap load of work done tomorrow, - I'm off to Toronto for a few days with my Mom, and to see David for the weekend, hopefully come back with some renewed vigour so I can clean the office - again, and get the living room/family room sorted out and then I can get a move on on the entertainment unit. And if nothing else it'll give James a break without me under his feet all the time. I know I must be grating on his nerves - even if I do really LIKE being home with him.

After having last weekend flumoxed by a Saturday night sick call, haven't seen my regular 4 day weekend since Christmas, and having worked 166 hours in 10 days - I'm taking 5 days off.

Hopefully heading to Toronto tomorrow early to spend a couple days with David, Be home midnight on Sunday - and I'm taking Monday/Tuesday to decompress at home.

I've got my flight booked - lots of open seats - but there's a winter storm headed for Toronto overnight tonight (you all in the Northeast U.S. will know what I'm talking about) - so there's a chance it'll be cancelled. I admit guiltily it wouLdn't exactly bust me up to NOT have to spend 20 hours on public transit tomorrow and rather sleep in late instead - but David would be disappointed - so I shall make a valient effort and see how it all turns out. One way or another I'm getting out of the office long enough to gain a little perspective - something I'm sorely lacking and desperately needing at the moment.

alive and well,

not feeling much like whinging anymore about work / home related stress - although thius weekend has been decidedly stress free - hubby takes good care of me, but so far Buddy's obedience classes are gonna need more time to sink in.

doing a fair bit of life evaluation - both current and future - I think my hubby's in sync - but sometimes I think he just agrees with me to ... agree with me

maybe next weekend I'll feel like talking

So my darling james_b and I aren't exactly ones for New Year's Resolutions and all - per se, but it does feel like the opportune time to take stock of the last year and start putting together a plan for the coming year. We also have a '5 Year Plan' - but that involves my retirement and a possible move and some other stuff we haven't completely committed to yet - just some ideas.

So rather than talk about resolutions - which kinda lamost makes em feel optional, plans and 'ToDo' lists sounds less like 'this is what I hope to get done' and more 'this is what I will get done'. It's a silly mind game I play with myself, but it works - mostly.

This past year.... not much to say about that. It kinda dispapeared in a huge hurry. We moved in here 15 months ago, and we've kinda been flat out ever since. Work has been hectic, I don't expect it's going to slow down soon, by the time it does, I'll be ready to retire. It's the nature of the job and part of the reason I love it the way I do. And here at home, every time something promises to quiet down a bit we managed to find some way to make it crazy again... still I wouldn't give up Zeus or Valentine or Cyrus or Ariel or Pippin or Kilo or Zeus for the world, neither would I not have David with us for the holidays or turn away any visitor. So it's been crazy, and we get a little lost trying to find the forest in all the trees, we build a lists, make plans, and try and stay on some kind of a path.

The following lists are mostly what we want to get accomplished this year.... by having ONE master list 9instead of 5 giant (24"x36") post-it notes), and then working from that building a one week at a time 'to do' list maybe we'll get there - or at least a little closer. Btw - the sub nested items are in the works and part of the big plan but probably won't happen THIS year.

( the lists..... )

And lemme just say for the record - I hate Word 2007, and it's blogging feature, and 'rich text mode' in LJ and DW - these two features and a really bitchy internet connection have resulted in it taking me 3 days to actually write this post.

But the good news is, thanks to the post Christmas sales, I *did* order a new Dell machine to replace my computer which has decided to give me grief - I should be able to frankenstien a lot of the parts off the old one into the new one and James's machine. At 3 years old, it was pretty much time to replace it anyway - although in the past I've tried to get 4 yrs on average out of a machine. So with a bit of luck people might actually GET Yule cards afterall.

You have 10 people, they work 12 hour days / nights so there are 2 shifts per day, 3 people on days, and 2 people on nights - for 5 people each day, and they work half the days, the other 5 work the other half.

What pattern gives everyone the same number of shifts and work days and rotates them in and out of the same number of night shift

On the face of it it looks like it should be easy

But in reality it's playing tetris with the disappearing leprechauns - and it's giving me a headache.

P.S. I got a couple free Dream Width Invites for the first right answer

Yeah, same old same old - busy busy busy - not keeping up with journals or much of anything else either...

We leave for Vancouver on Friday morning, and our flight to Sydney (and then on to Brisbane) on Sunday evening ... I've got about 48 hours worth of work here at home, and about 48 hours worth of work at work - and I'm not getting terribly far with either, something always seems to interrupt.

Like blogging

LOL

Anyway... news, yes Moose really do kill people, watch out on those Canadian roads, especially Newfoundland for those long leggedy beasties, lest you go bump in the night.

And my husband is such a geek - Roombas on sale yesterday at Can Tire - he could not be expected to resist on his own. The cats? Well... lets just say .. they're cats. ;)